When I saw the title "If I Had A Million," I remembered a sequence about a nursing home, and sure enough, it was from this 1932 film. "If I Had a Million" is a collection of stories by different writers showing the effects of a multimillionaire, John Gidden (Richard Bennett) giving away his fortune, a million at a time, to people he chooses from the phone book. It's the basis of the TV series prominent during my childhood, "The Millionaire" - the alternate title of "The Millionaire" is "If You Had a Million." The stories vary from funny to ironic to poignant. Directors include Ernst Lubitsch, Norman MacLeod, William Seiter, Norman Taurog, and others; writers include Claude Binyon, Lubitsch, Joseph Mankiewicz, Whitney Bolton, etc.

The stories are all excellent: An episode with a very modern sensibility starring George Raft as a forger; Gene Raymond as a death row inmate; Gary Cooper as a marine; Charles Laughton as a downtrodden clerk; Charles Ruggles as a clumsy salesperson in a china shop; Wynne Gibson as a prostitute in a segment that's definitely precode; and two total gems, W.C. Fields and Alison Skipworth as a couple with a new car; and May Robson as a woman in a strict nursing home.

My favorite is the nursing home segment. May Robson's acting is superb as an elderly woman living with a bunch of other miserable elderly women in a nursing home. It's not a cruel place, but the woman feel restricted, and all miss their families. The faces of these women are magnificent, and this episode really tugs at the heartstrings. Robson gets the million, and what she does with it is fabulous.

Another favorite is the marine segment with a young, gorgeous Gary Cooper along with Roscoe Karns in a very funny episode. Cooper gets the million, and he doubts the check is real. A short but sweet one.

The mood of each story is different; each is worth seeing. Highly entertaining.

This is surely among Hollywood's first and most celebrated all-star compendiums, which also involved a plethora of equally notable writers and directors, but is best-remembered now for Ernst Lubitsch's contribution (it's actually the briefest episode of the lot!) and the hilarious W.C. Fields segment. The narrative revolves around wealthy but eccentric dying industrialist Richard Bennett (who's wonderful here, though his only other notable role was a brief dramatic turn in Orson Welles' THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS [1942]) who, rather than leave his fortune to his "vulture" relatives and collaborators, decides to donate it indiscriminately by randomly choosing the names of eight strangers from the telephone book! Though it's stylishly handled all the way through, the episodes alternate jarringly between comedy, irony, melodrama and sentimentality – making the whole somewhat patchy.

Besides, a few of them are insubstantial (the Lubitsch/Charles Laughton and Stephen Roberts/Wynne Gibson segments, the latter as a prostitute who celebrates her freedom by sleeping in luxury and alone – making no secret of the girl's profession, who's later seen in her underwear and even removing her stockings, was only possible due to the relaxed censorship of the Pre-Code era) as well as repetitive (the immediate reaction of both Laughton and Charlie Ruggles, in a Norman Z. McLeod-directed episode where the star is typically flanked by the overbearing Mary Boland and which even incorporates a surreal nightmare sequence, on receiving the inheritance is to avenge themselves on their respective bosses). For that matter, Fields' segment (also helmed by McLeod) deals likewise with the sweet taste of revenge – as he and frequent sparring partner Alison Skipworth buy a number of cars simultaneously, after their brand-new vehicle has been destroyed by road-hogs, and spend the rest of the day giving irresponsible drivers they meet along the way a dose of their own medicine – but it's easily the highlight of the film.

The other episodes include: a prisoner on Death Row, Gene Raymond (directed by James Cruze), whose fortune arrives too late to change his fate; in a somewhat similar situation, the H. Bruce Humberstone-helmed segment has George Raft as a forger who, wanted by the Police, is understandably not given credit by any of his shady associates, even when he presents them with the $1 million figure – it does gain him lodging at a flop-house except that the owner, recognizing the forger from his photo in the papers, instantly turns Raft over to the proper authorities and obliviously uses the cheque to light his cigar! Again, a variation on this misuse of the money is the basis of the Gary Cooper episode (directed by William A. Seiter): he's one of three marines thrown in the stockade for unruly behavior – receiving Bennett's cheque on an April Fool's Day, he believes it all to be a mere prank, and uses it to buy himself and his pals a meal at a hamburger stand; after they all go out with the waitress there to a carnival and end up in another brawl, they're astonished the next day to see the girl and her employer living it up!

The concluding May Robson/Stephen Roberts segment – residing at a home for old ladies run by a female disciplinarian, she eventually utilizes the money to buy off the property and turn it into a recreation center (to which, ultimately, Bennett himself apparently retires!) – is among the longer episodes but also, obviously, the most sentimental. Norman Taurog, then, presumably directed the millionaire's scenes in his home and offices i.e. whenever he's not interacting with the other stars; it's unclear, however, what exactly constitutes Mendes' uncredited contribution. Unfortunately, the copy I acquired of this was rather fuzzy (after having longed for years to watch it); for what it's worth, the film is only currently available on R2 DVD, as part of a W.C. Fields collection: I didn't spring for the 10-Disc set for the simple reason that I already owned many of the titles included therein – though I'm still missing a few at this point