Snake movies are the worst. And this one is the equal of any. A King Cobra/Rattlesnake hybrid has escaped from a lab wrecked by two of the most insane scientists in film history. The scene was brief, but possibly the most entertaining in the film. The monstrous mutation has claimed a small, rural town as its territory. Of course they are about to have a festival a beer fest no less! And will the Mayor cancel the festival because a couple of people are killed? What do you think?

The acting in King Cobra is remedial at best. Even Pat Morita cannot make is role entertaining. The stoic Casey Fallo was a pretty good reason to keep viewing. She was nice to watch in what little she was given to do. Everyone else was just not in attendance.

Perhaps the major problem for me in the film is that a snake was able to outsmart one-and-all homo sapiens throughout most of the film. And the two ton beast seemingly appeared and disappeared with all the velocity of a mako shark. He wafted through the delicate branches of trees with the grace of a ninety pound ballerina. A trained deputy is cornered against a tree by the rampaging reptile, and she panics, seemingly forgets she has a pistol in her hand, and screams for the hero; who drop-kicks the lightnening-fast saurian without even getting bitten.

One must always suspend belief to some extent in order to enjoy a monster film. However, the director created such a "super snake", and such inept humans, that King Cobra far surpassed my ability to stretch reality.This mess eventually became boring and predictable. That is the only real sin a monster film can commit. And it is terminal in King Cobra.

But it just might be that the worst faux pas of this film was the beer recipe recited by the supposed artisan brewer. If you are able to muster the gumption to watch this snake calamity, listen carefully for it. This "master brewer" is concocting a classic American mass-produced, tasteless near beer; not a sapid, artisan brew. After all, snakes are a dime a dozen, but a really good beer is sacred.

I cannot recommend this film, unless one is in traction and cannot reach the remote. However, perhaps enough good beer could make it tolerable?

The dumb-but-fun ANACONDA was a giant snake movie that received a lot of flak from the critics. Personally, I thoroughly enjoyed the film, both at the cinema and at home on television. So when I saw the reviews for KING COBRA (itself marketed as ANACONDA 2 in some instances) I didn't take too much notice of them, figuring them to be just more negative comments from guys who hate the genre in the first place. Sadly, the criticism received by KING COBRA is entirely correct, as this cheap and tacky killer snake flick scrapes the bottom of the barrel in every instance. Heck, even the poorly-acted low-budget '50s B-movies with appalling effects were more fun than this modern variation, which has better effects but is substandard in every other way.

Anybody expecting the monster rampage usually offered by such "creature features" will be disappointed by the minimal action on offer here; the film progresses as usual, with the creation of the threat and then the gradual deaths of townsfolk living in the outskirts of the town in the woodland, but things never progress from here. Instead, the best entertainment value the film can offer is throw a bunch of dumb rednecks into the snake's lair and have it eat them all one by one. Later, when a wooden actor uses a Van Damme kick to repel the snake, you know the film is in big trouble. The snake P.O.V. shots are also WAY overused, to the point of exhaustion, whereas any opportunity for gore or sadism is kept to a minimum, unfortunately, by the film's PG-13 certificate.

Not that there aren't any incidental pleasures. Indeed, one of the film's highlights is an out-of-nowhere appearance by a down-on-his-luck overacting Erik Estrada, playing the town's campest inhabitant, whilst an aged Pat Morita appears to offer an amusing spin on his KARATE KID mentor character and gives the film some of its best humour. The special effects of the snake itself are very well created, unsurprising when it turns out that the reliable Chiodo Brothers are behind the menace, and it's just a shame that they aren't used to a greater purpose. The anti-climatic ending is also stupid and unexplained and as a whole the entertainment value is kept to a minimum, with just a few high points of so-bad-it's-good value. Definitely not a film to bother with unless you have a really high tolerance for pure trash.