Greetings again from the darkness. Gotta hand it to 60 year old Steve Martin. He cranks out the easy hits like "Father of the Bride" and "Cheaper by the Dozen" so that he can do his own pet projects like the underrated "Bowfinger" and now "Shopgirl". Based on his own novella, Martin explores the mid-life fantasy of a powerful, rich businessman who takes on a beautiful, younger, unspoiled country girl from Vermont.

While the insight into quiet desperation is always fascinating, Martin's script fails to really show any human connection between the three leads. Martin's own character, while easily the most privileged, is far and away the most distant and least interesting. The always interesting Claire Danes desperately wants to be loved and escape the ever-present cold existence of Vermont which continues to haunt her. Jason Schwartzman (fast cornering the market on quirky to the point of annoying dudes) is initially enamored with the idea of being with Claire (or anyone) but goes on the road with a rock band and finds himself ... or at least educates himself on how to fit into society.

Not sure if any of the characters have any real redeeming qualities, but they do make for moderately interesting film-making. Bridgette Wilson (Mrs. Pete Sampras) has a fluffy role as the envious make-up queen, Sam Bottoms makes a rare screen appearance as Danes say-little Dad and Francis Conroy (Beautiful Flowers, Six Feet Under) has a brief appearance as Daines Mom. Interesting side note is that Rebecca Pigeon has a small role ... she is the real life wife of the great David Mamet.

Although, the lighting is atrocious and distracting in most every scene, you do find yourself hoping that someone, ANYONE, discovers a moment of real happiness. Yes, this story could have been better presented, but it is worth watching to view first hand how people pretend to connect.

Adapted by Steve Martin from the novella by Steve Martin and starring Steve Martin this constipated and passionless romance film it is fair to say can be blamed on this one time wild and crazy guy gone serious. The book, brief as it is runs out of steam after a promising start and this basically three character film would probably stagger around in the same lugubrious stupor were it not for the way Martin has to turn one of his characters into a zany deus ex machina in order to jolt some life into it for the film's bittersweet happy ending.

Vermont transplant Mirabelle Butterfield is an undiscovered artist working as a sales clerk at Sak's Fifth Avenue in LA. Unfulfilled and lonely (even her cat won't come out to greet her upon returning from a day's work)she meets and dates two completely different men. Jeremy is a man child that finds wonderment in neon signs and sees no problem in using plastic sandwich bags for a condom. Then there's sophisticate Ray Porter who has homes in LA and Seattle and gets around by private jet. Jeremy is quickly jettisoned once Mirabelle feels she has something more serious and tangible in her relationship with the wealthier and older Ray so he gets a job as a roadie and goes on tour with a rock band. Meanwhile Ray's feelings remain ambiguous. It eventually goes bad in the most mannerly of fashion just in time for the freshly scrubbed Jeremy to reappear.

Shopgirl has a sleek trendy look to it with it's stylish sets and well heeled characters roaming the upscale store, chic museums and fine restaurants as well as Porter's sterile residences. But the film plods along at an uninteresting pace because the film never really gets deeply into the characters. Without the interior monologue of the novella director Anand Tucker seems content to allow his characters to tell their stories with wan expressions of joy and sadness. To make sure you don't miss these telling glances he spends a lot of time overusing slow motion and employing a prodding music score to bring some life to the characters.

Claire Danes does what she can with the glum Mirabelle and it's not a whole lot since Tucker seems content to just film her pretty face in a series of reactions. She and Martin have some decent scenes with each other (especially when she attempts to cut back on her anti-depressent)but the relationship for the most part is tepid. Steve Martin is a disaster as Ray lacking the actors chops to show any emotion, even the restrained variety that the non-committal Porter protects himself with. In order to balance these dull lifeless creatures Tucker and Martin turn Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) into a lovable shaggy dog, cutely clueless and upbeat.

Shopgirl is Woody Allen territory without the comic irony and Erich Rohmer land without the introspection or depth of character. It's well mannered has a nice veneer but lacks the energy to ever really take off. Jeremy and Ray are cliché polar opposites, (old wild and crazy Steve versus the mature and refined Steve)but naturally caring and compassionate in their own way. Martin and Tucker refuse to employ negative capability to either character thus diluting the film's somber dramatic tone even more. Ray's passive interest lacks edge in either direction and the selfishness of his actions are betrayed by the makers need to almost make him as sympathetic as Mirabelle, thus stealing her thunder and reason to rage. It undermines Shopgirl which drably plays it safe from beginning to end.

Let me make this easy for you. Shopgirl reminds me a lot of Lost in Translation.

With one sentence, I am sure I have turned off more than a handful of people that are now searching other movie titles of interest.

Funny really. Lost in Translation was one of those films that the critics adored. It was a quiet and quaint film that delivered an absorbing story without explosions or over drawn out comedic moments.

Yet, it was one of those films that I could not find a casual film watcher enjoyed. Or even understood for that matter.

I think it was due to its pacing and under toned performances by the two leads. Nothing was forced either in conversation and in turn, back down the audience's throat. Instead, it just went about telling the story of two people who happened to meet and make a connection.

Shopgirl is not dissimilar. The story (based on a novella by Steve Martin) concerns well, a shopgirl at Saks Fifth Avenue named Mirabelle (played wonderfully by Claire Danes). Fresh from Vermont and trying to make it as an artist in the hustle and bustle that is Los Angeles, Mirabelle in the span of just a few days goes from someone of plain existence that the world seems to have ignored to being the apple in the eyes of two suitors that couldn't be more different from each other.

In one corner and out of the gate first is Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman of Betwitched fame). Jeremy is the dirty weird guy that you meet in a laundromat. He seems nervous when he talks to women and his idea of a date is anything under the eight dollars he has in his wallet.

In the other corner is Ray Porter (Steve Martin). Ray shows up at Saks one day and makes a purchase from Mirabelle that ends up on her doorstep with an invitation of dinner soon after. Porter is loaded and in his courtship of Mirabelle he is able to lavish her with gifts beyond her accepted imagination.

But under the surface, the two suitors are even further apart than their bank balances would suggest. Porter is a man of high society who is always looking for the 'next thing' without any regard to those to which he is involved with at the time. Meanwhile, Jeremy is as sincere as it comes. He wears his heart on his sleeve and tries hard to learn about relationships in hopes of winning over the very impressionable Mirabelle.

The story then sculpts Mirabelle's highs and lows with both men leading to her ultimate decision that is both logical and acceptable even if projected right from the opening chapters.

Shopgirl is one of those guilty pleasures. It's good storytelling without MTV songs ringing in our ears or tragic moments that define ones future decisions. It is based in reality. Or as close to reality that Los Angeles allows.

And much like Lost in Translation, Shopgirl's backbone is the strength of the lead actors. In particular Claire Danes, who will give Charlize Theron a run for the gold when the awards season beings in just a few weeks. As Mirabelle, she is able to project vulnerability and confidence while exuding emotions of emotional pain and heartfelt love that grounds her performance allowing us to understand her decisions even if they don't all turn out to her benefit.

The result is one of the quietest and best films of the year that much like Lost, no one will see until it starts running on satellite early next year.

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