Have you ever seen a movie that played out like a game of mad libs with its basic concept? That is exactly what The Adventures of the American Rabbit feels like. Based on the poster art character of the same name by Stewart Moskowitz, this 1986 kids flick about a rabbit with Americanized superpowers plays out about as well as a story with no sense of direction. What sounds like a fun story of Rob the rabbit being informed of his incredible abilities and using it against forces of evil is just not engaging in the slightest.

In his own review for the Los Angeles Times, animation historian Charles Solomon said, "Both the writing and the animation in The Adventures of the American Rabbit are so inept that the viewer expects the governor to interrupt the film and declare the theater a disaster area!" While I wouldn't go that far, there is so little to gain from this feature due to how all over the place it is. One minute, Rob will be needing a job as a pianist, then he and other animals will be making a peace rally against a motorcyclist gang of jackals, then Rob and the music group he's with will be on the road searching for the right gig, then the villain will come in and threaten destruction against New York City, blah blah blah. Nothing in this film makes a lick of sense and the film hardly gives us a reason to care for the characters. It's sad when the best character in the movie is a gorilla named Ping Pong due to being the most consistent in his good moral values and the fact that he is voiced by Lorenzo Music. Most of the voice acting is fine for what it is, but the voice of the villain is so generic it's not even funny.

I guess if there's anything to take away from this film, at least the soundtrack is kinda catchy. The occasional rock music courtesy of Mark Colman and Howard Kaplan of Leech and Eddie fame is lively enough to bob your head up and down to, and the occasional flashy animated effects are cool to watch. Even beyond that, the animation direction is too stale and stilted to engage much momentum in. The character designs are cute enough on their own and do showcase a lot of variety in Moskowitz's style. Perhaps something more stylized would have helped, but the actual art direction feels too stale and safe to get much interest out of. It's interesting that Toei Animation was behind this film given the character's then huge popularity in Japan, because their finest work will not be found here at all. That said, I do think it's cool that they simultaneously produced English and Japanese dubs for the film at the time of its production, hence the immense collaboration between two different countries.

So unless you're a little kid or a fan of Moksowitz's work, American Rabbit isn't really worth recommending. It's harmless as far as family adventure films go, but there's not much momentum to gain from it in the long run. I actually thought I was going to be in for a hilarious 4th of July treat, but then again this film originally released in February, so I was surely mistaken. Oh well, at least we now know what inspired Chris Chan before Sonic came around (no, I'm not making that up).

When you were nine years old, it was perfectly believable that a rabbit Wizard would assist a young rabbit to be a patriotic hero who will save other rabbits and animals. Yep, totally legit! However, revisiting this film as an adult induces frequent groans at the dialogue and the silliness of the story- not to mention our hero is called American Rabbit which suggests patriotism is important for the rabbit population.

Okay, I remember 'The Adventures of American Rabbit' being released at the cinemas back in the 80s, and it disappeared during the 90s. Admittedly, I had fonder memories of this forgotten flick, but I guess I was so enamoured by the trailers at the time, that I may have forgotten my disappointment. This is not a great animated film by any standard- especially upon a re-watch! It is worth noting that voice-great in Lorenzo Music (Garfield) was the voice of Ping the Gorilla, and other than that, this film is pretty lame. When the bad guy kidnaps the Chocolate Moose to control New York, this film had good from bad to worse. Hard to find a good quality version of this movie, and that is probably for the best.

** out of *****!

THE ADVENTURES OF THE American RABBIT is so incredibly un-noteworthy I'm vaguely obsessed with it. The idea that something this insubstantial could get a theatrical release is a bit amazing--but then again, I've seen THE OOGIELOVES. In a theater.

What can you really say about a film like this? The plot is so thin that the same things happen two or three times just to fill up the space--and a lot of what goes down is completely irrelevant. This could have been a one-hour TV special, no problem. There's nothing really approaching substance here.

Is there anything to recommend it? Curiosity, I guess. It's well- intentioned (more or less). The villain is kind of cool-looking. It's weird and illogical enough as a whole to be worth laughing at. It's a film called THE ADVENTURES OF THE American RABBIT and it actually got shown in theaters. You can watch it on Netflix, on YouTube, or do your best to imagine it based on the bare plot summary.

If you were stuck watching this, it would be preferable to chewing off your own leg. It would even be preferable to being knocked unconscious. But...yeah.